Continuing from My Previous Post: Thoughts on My Search for a Potential Bride

[My previous post::](https://www.reddit.com/r/Odisha/comments/1htjzyg/getting_rejected_by_almost_everyone_on_matrimony/) I feel my previous post lacked some clarity, so I’d like to go into more detail about what I bring to the table, as some other commentators have pointed out. However, before I begin, I want to say that, in many ways, I feel like I don’t bring much to the table—and that’s actually how I want to proceed. I’m not interested in making this feel like a transaction. It honestly felt a bit strange to put my bio data on a public platform, almost as if I were advertising myself like a commodity. I’m much more inclined to find someone organically, through real connections, rather than just through a profile. **My stats**\- **Age:** 29, Odia Brahmin. **Height:** 5' 9.2" (I usually round it to 5'9", as it's a little above 9 inches but below 10). **Weight:** 72-74 KG, with an athletic build (not muscular). **Hairline:** Slightly thin, but it’s not noticeable unless my hair is completely wet and you're looking closely. Hair loss is controlled with medication. **Skin Color:** Brown, though it lightens when I'm not exposed to the sun. Otherwise, I have a naturally tanned complexion. **Qualifications:** BTech from a Tier-1 institution. I’ve also completed an MBA and several professional certifications, but I typically just mention my BTech. **Domain:** Quant **Current status**\- I am currently unemployed, as I was working until the end of December and will be joining a new firm at the end of January. Right now just sleeping at home and eating free food. :P :P The salary mentioned in my profile reflects my gross fixed compensation, and I haven’t included variable pay or gratuity, as there’s no guarantee I’ll be with the company long enough to receive those. Ideally, variable that I might get over my fixed salary would be close to 3-5 Lakh. It can be more but taking a conservative approach here. I simply have mentioned the fixed part on the site. **Legit enough??** **Family**\- My family situation is a bit complicated as we live in a joint family. We’re not originally from Bhubaneswar, but I was born and brought up in a village. We are a very respectable family in our community, and my father earns around 60K per month. I am currently looking for a good plot in Bhubaneswar and plan to buy one within the next 2-3 months. However, I can not mention this to a match unless and until we are sure of going ahead. I feel sharing future plans or dreams would make me like a desperate. Correct? **Location**\- My line of work is more suited for Mumbai, given the hundreds of highly paid job opportunities here. However, I am considering moving to Bangalore for my next job, even though I have other offers in Mumbai that offer better pay. I’m holding multiple offers, but I’m leaning toward Bangalore for various reasons. I feel it would be little tough to get decent matches in Mumbai. Hence, I decided to switch and move to Bangalore as I feel Bangalore is quite Odia hub outside Odisha. Lol **Analyzing rejections**\- I think most of the rejections have been due to the fact that I haven’t fully updated my profile bio to highlight my strengths and qualities. I also didn’t upload any fancy pictures because I don’t have many. I initially added 1-2 but later deleted them, which has left my profile with very little information or pictures. ***I’m wondering if I should delete the current profile and create a new one???*** It feels like this profile has already seen a lot of rejections. **What I Find Attractive in a Girl:** 1. **Education** – I value intelligence and someone who is aware of the world around them, able to engage in meaningful, intellectual conversations. It’s not just about degrees. 2. **Dressing Sense and Grooming** – I believe that someone who takes care of themselves and values self-love is important. I can't love someone who doesn’t love themselves. 3. **Liberal and Open-Minded** – I’m attracted to someone who enjoys traveling and is somewhat independent. I’m definitely not okay with someone who expects to be fully dependent on me for everything. 4. **Equal Partnership** – I feel that important decisions should be made by both partners, not one person acting entitled to have the final say. If one partner is left out, that’s a red flag for me. 5. **Empathy** – If my partner expects me to support women’s causes (like RG Kar or Nirbhaya incidents), I would also expect her to show the same level of empathy towards men’s issues (for example, incidents like Atul Subhash). 6. **Health and Fitness** – A little bit of workout to stay in good health is important to me. **What I Find Serious Turn-Offs**:**-** * **Conservative Mindset** – I definitely don't enjoy conservative thought process, especially when someone doesn't have their own opinions or lacks future plans and goals or completely dependent on their partner when they can lead a stress free life. * **Strict Parents** – I’m not comfortable with parents who value nothing beyond a man’s wealth and salary. Maybe I’m just not rich enough, but if I can't see her parents as a genuine and respectable part of the family, I wouldn’t move forward with it. * **Endless Window Shopping** – If someone has been "window shopping" on matrimonial sites for years without making any serious progress, that’s a red flag. Ideally, it shouldn't take more than two years for someone to find a match, as women tend to get more matches than men. If it takes longer, something's off. * **Inconsistent Beliefs** – I don’t understand people who’ve been in relationships outside their caste or religion but now insist on a horoscope match. You can't be both conservative and liberal at the same time. Past relationships don’t bother me, but I do have an issue with things like cheating, breaking up due to financial struggles, horoscope mismatches, or disagreements with parents. These are clear red flags for me. * **Drinking Habits** – I’m sober when it comes to drinking (I've tried it a few times, maybe a glass on 6-7 occasions), and while I don’t mind going out for a drink with my partner in the future, I can't be with someone who's addicted to alcohol. **My Questions:** 1. **Adjustments to My Points:** Are there any adjustments I should make to the points I’ve mentioned above? Do they come across as too rigid, or are they reasonable given my values and priorities? I am cool with other general castes as well, and I am trying to get my parents on board as I continue my search. 2. **Finding Someone with My Mindset:** How likely is it that I will find someone who shares my mindset and values? I’m aware that not everyone will align with my perspective, but I’m curious about the chances. 3. **Salary Disclosure:** What salary should I mention? Should it be my net in-hand salary per month after tax and PF, or is it acceptable to mention an inflated CTC (Cost to Company)? I personally feel uncomfortable listing the inflated CTC and would rather be transparent about my actual take-home pay, but I’m unsure what’s standard in these situations. I am significantly underpaid in my line of work as I have career break which I had taken to prepare for some govt job preparation, Currently I am getting close to 60% of what my peers are getting. Note: The least I could do is be brutally honest on this anonymous platform, so please feel free to share your honest opinion. I aim to be respectful and open, but if I’ve offended anyone with my views, I sincerely apologize.