turning 20 in a couple of days

i’ve lived a pathetic life riddled with mental health issues since i was 11. my younger brother drives me places (he’s 18, i’m 19) since i don’t have a license, he’s also attending college while i rot away in my room sleeping. my own little brother is almost treating me like i’m the younger sibling. how sad is that? i hate that i’m going to be 20 and still in this same position. i hate being around people, even my own family. i feel like a loser all the time.