Is like I need permission or something

One of the things that keeps me in the inertia of being a NEET is the feeling I need permission to do something. Years failing to fit in the society, now trying again is getting harder. Is like my interior voice is saying "You can't leave your house, you have nothing to do outside, so stay in your room where no one can see you." The only place that I felt I kinda belong was the mental hospital, everyone say is a terrible place, but I like, at least I'm away from society and not bothering anyone. Does anyone feel like this?