Do you guys feel like a awful human being sometimes?

Sometimes i want to know if my parents or rest of my family think im a bad person. i like to call myself a bad person because i know im being a burden on them by being a leech but its not like i wish to be a bad person if you know what i mean? I just hate feeling like an awful human being, i guess no-one would as nobody likes being disliked or despised, its just an awful feeling knowing you might intrinstically be a bad person that is a net negative on everyone around you, if i get judged i like to think that i didnt ask for this, its so unfair, i would go for good person anyday but fated to be born as bad which is bullshit as i didnt want to choose to be bad but pre birth genetics lottery determines it so. I hope i can be a very kind and a overall good person in my next life. At the moment im working on meditation to help me become more aware of others so hopefully it helps.