• I hate this life

    I graduated high school back in 2019 and have been living as a NEET for the most part since then, and let me tell you I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE LIVING LIKE THIS. When I was envisioning my life five years post-graduation I wouldn't have ever wanted this,I tried to work as an apartment maintenance technician for a very brief time (one month in 2019, another month in 2021),but I was in such a bad mental state that I just ended up quitting. Since then I've spent most of my time drawing, playing video games, reading, going on walks at night, watching stuff on youtube, and occasionally applying for jobs online (most of the time I find it hard to stay focused and motivated on the last one, probably doesn't help that I don't have a whole lot of work experience outside the aforementioned months above), i'm just sick of it all everyday just feels the exact same. I'm planning on attending community college later on in the month but I feel so ill prepared, I can't drive ,don't have a bank account, or even a job to pay for tuition,I feel like i'm setting myself up for disappointment but I just want out of this life so badly. Sorry if this post is in anyway incoherent, but I feel like I needed someplace to vent.
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