endha enn aryilla...

guysss... idk whats happening to meee.. i cant concentrate on anythinggg.. i cant feel anything... it feels like im living two diff lives. one on inside and one on outside. i used to check my exam result with shivering hands bcs if my cgpa<7.5, i will lose my scholarship. half an hour ago last sem results came.. yeahh i lost it.. i got 7.2. but no feelings no shivering nothinggg.. its like i can give for revaluation and increase it. fkucccittt i caaantt. im damn sure I can't but my heart or brain isn't responding like i used to. and then procrastination... im fed up.. i cant do any shit.. i always postpone everythingg to later then ends up doing nothinggggg.. do i have adhd?? or am i overthinking?? ik self diagnosis is not good but I can't think of telling my parents that i need proffessional help since they arent even aware of mental health and alll.. or am i justt a lazyyy ass????