Why does being grown up have to be so difficult?

Harder than I thought. Right from not being able to trust anyone till not having anyone to help you, adulting has taken a big toll on my mental health. I've even considered ending everything but I'm scared of death too. Not that I hate growing up, rather appreciate the little freedom I get as a part of growing up, but the things which I miss the most are: 1. Didn't have the pressure to look good as a kid. 2. You were allowed to ask questions and if they didn't have answers you were called atleast cute and not a mindless person. 3. Although the pressure to Not disappoint your parents is still there, but it's gotten worse because now the expectations are even more than just doing well at studies. Its winning at life. And we don't even know what else it could it be. 4. No understanding people around. Making it hard to co-exist. 5. You've so much to say but it's hard to keep writing at this point because I also know that no one might even read it till here.