JEE sucked the life out of me.

Sorry of this is not the place regarding this but I am in a pretty bad state today and saw some post regarding suicide due to jee so I am writing here. I am a dropper, scored mere 93 in 12th this year, took a drop just casually and started preparing through pw online. I was/am in 2.0 prayas ( the second batch for droppers) which started in June 3rd. I studied well until September mid. I don't even know what happened but I slowly started drifting away from studies ( not blaming teachers here all of them they are great), tried coping up and still I was studying every once in 2 days but slowly I stooped studying completely, not even opening textbooks fr. I unsubscribed from most of the jee related channels, turned off notifications from pw- it really made me anxious seeing all those classes . I haven't even opened the app since October and I am completely numb, I don't even care about the jan attempt. My parents are really chill and never pressurrised me regarding anything, they don't even make me do house chores even small ones. I told my dad i am unable to study late oct but I guess he took it casually because today my mom told me that dad told her yesterday ( when i was out of town for a marriage to attend) about my studies and even she took that lightly- initially not believing but really started getting anxious once I assured ger jan attempt will be the first example of my failure in life ( I have always succeded in almost everything - i guess that's why my parents are chill) My dad came home in evening I heard my mom and dad talking but afterwards none talked of that thing to me. I wonder if they are still taking it casually but it's really bad. I have my friends, most of them still not believing i am not studying because I always say so. I have no one who believes me and surprisingly Idk why I have started looking into topics like suicide depression etc randomly today and for the first time in my life i have felt like a failure, i even cried after I talked with my mom but I was not regretful which is more painful. I am numb, no thoughts of having a suicide but ifk why i am searching that. Is this serious? Is this what life is all about? Will i be a failure?i still want to study blockchain development and crypto, finance, stockmarket and trading. But I don't have the urge to study for jee for now, I just don't have that motivation.....idk why I want to be really rich and there are a few things which I mentioned in the above lines I have the motivation and flame for but jee is not that. I feel as if in the upcoming months especially January and February it would fully suck the life out of me Help please