Pune Metro Observer

So, I’m just sitting here trying to get through my daily commute, reading the *Times of India* in peace. And then, I hear this guy talking—like, *loudly*—right next to me. I glance up, and oh my god, it’s that dude from across the aisle. This guy is literally narrating the most awkward interaction I’ve ever witnessed, and I can’t look away. He's basically roasting the guy who tried to “uplift” this girl’s mood, and it’s honestly like he’s reading my mind. He’s calling out how cringe it was when the guy said, “You give off boring vibes, don’t take it personally,” and I’m over here, dying inside. Dude’s acting like he’s in a rom-com, and the guy isn’t having it. He even mention how the outfit rating was basically an *8/10* for mediocrity, and I’m *here for it*. He totally nails it with the line about how the guy thinks he’s some motivational speaker on a metro mission, when all he did was make things awkward for everyone within a 10-foot radius. I’m just sitting here thinking, *Thank you, Mr. Gyani*. He is me, but better at articulating it. Now, back to the drama. The girl who got stuck with this gem of a conversation, she was just trying to get through her ride, and this guy—who’s 28, by the way—keeps talking, asking for her Insta, like she’s some kind of contestant on *Tinder: Metro Edition*. She was trapped, clearly wishing she could just disappear into her chair, but at least she gave him an 8/10, which felt way too generous. And then, of course, the guy posts on Reddit about how he was “just trying to uplift her mood.” *Buddy, no one’s mood was uplifted.* I could practically feel the awkwardness in his post. And I bet that girl is writing her own post, too, with the same *I wish I could’ve escaped* energy. Honestly, I’m just trying to read my newspaper now and get away from all the drama. But hey, at least Mr. Gyani made it a little more entertaining. The moral of the story? Never try to uplift someone's mood on public transport, or at least not when you're wearing a shirt that screams “I’m a motivational speaker, but bad at it.”