Being ugly, My experience.21 M Final Year CS grad.

Age 21 Sikh (additional info - I trim my beard) Brown skin - all my cousins are white, even my own family Height 5 11, Less as compared to people of my own community. In Final year of computer engineering in one of the tier 2 colleges of pune. I have a job offer of 8.5 LPA. Currently working to get better offers. Dating aspects - For my whole life I lived in Punjab, never had a chance here. I approached 12 girls in my life. 3 when I was in college. All rejected me. Everytime approaching the other gender was hard. 3 made fun of my appearance infront of the hole class and 1 made me look like a fool infront of the whole department. Friendships - your true friends will be there for your behaviour and your vibe. But my friend friends never liked me. They always looked down on me, that is what I always felt. I wasn't invited in group hangouts. College - Things changed, improved but never better, I avoided interaction with the other gender because of my looks and their power of influencing the matter if it goes south. I worked on my health, body(gym) and studies. I always felt lonely here and struggled with friendships, even among male Batchmates. I was treated with a warm hi whenever I met anyone, but there was no actual Friendship. I was vigilant enough to even call out someone's dual behaviour, could be one of the reasons. Dating apps - zero matches throughout years. Now what I feel. It's hardly by any chance the future will be any different. I will still be rejected by other gender. In corporate it isn't advised to get into any friendly relationship with female colleagues as it can cause issues. My parents gave me a disclaimer a lot earlier that due to their disputes among relatives, arrange marriage via a trusted route is not possible. I am on my own. For now I only work, gym and study. I explore and sometimes travel. That is all I have. For now I am finding peace with it. To all those who read, thanks, have a nice day