I want to have good feelings again

I only feel numbness, sadness and angriness, only negative. I want to feel love again, I don't even know anymore what the fuck is that, I only get angry at women, I get angry at people, mainly I am with the reason ofc, but why can't I feel something positive about people? I know why because they all act stupid , act norm and are prejudiced against me. • I think my only escape is schizomaxx so I can manipulate my brain into loving some fictional character and living in some sort of fantasy world. I need tips from schizomaxxers here.