I'm a Good for nothing

Hello, I hope that term is correct in English, a person that is kinda useless. That's me. I am 34 and female, live in Germany on disability because of chronical depression and avoidant personality disorder. I think such subreddits are the only ones I don't get attacked. Never had a real job. I am not stupid basically. I have many interests. But I am the opposite of street smart. I a slowly, clumsy and I am not fast in understand things. Also my memory and concentration aren't the best, not to talk about confidence, motivation and drive. I hate myself. I dislike 90% of my life circumstances. But I am barely able to change anything. And, yes, I take antidepressants. I am very disappointed in everything, especially how society and the world developed last years. I try to take walks. I dislike strangers around me. I have to eat and an apartment, but it's a low life. Am I a good for nothing?? Edit: only things I am a bit good in are drawing and a bit sewing(plushes). Great things to earn money. Not.