My parents are in their early 70's. It just dawned on me.

I've really got to get out of neetdom in the next few years or else I might face a survival crisis. My parents are going to live for only 10 more years or so. Things are going from sad to scary. If I could die before them that would be great, but I don't think that's going to happen no matter how hard I wish it. Sometimes I overhear them in the kitchen talking about me and saying that I am their biggest problem right now. The situation I'm in is partly their fault, though. The other day my mom was talking about a show on TV where they were discussing why young people take their own lives, and my dad waved at her and pointed at me frantically signaling her to stop talking about such subject in front of me. It was kinda awkward. Maybe my dad thinks I have suicidal thoughts. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Both my parents are messed up and my siblings too in one way or another, but I'm the worst one. I shouldn't have been born. My plan is to get any job at some point in the near future and go from there. I still have a little bit of hope that things can turn around for me.