It was over before it even began (Personal Rant)

So, I was born into a doomsday cult (Jehovah's Witnesses for those wondering), what a truly bad hand. Ever since the moment I attained rational thought, I was taught that this world is going to end, that the end of all this "system of things" were around the corner. If you're constantly reminded, and actually had genuine faith that this world is going to end, why the hell would you put in effort to make something for yourself? At least I could take comfort in that truth. However, I recently woke up from the cult about a year, year and half ago. As a result, my life is nothing. I've been catapulted into the reality that this world isn't going anywhere, that I will die in it, and my life has no foundation and no direction. I was extremely sheltered, born a very bad stutterer, became anti-social, an extreme introvert with high social anxiety all before I even left elementary school (very possible I have a myriad of undiagnosed mental issues but I'm no doc). I didn't have any ambition or any desire to even try because hey, the world is going to end after all. I've had 2, 3 odd jobs since I graduated High School in 2018. Each one was a short lived, excruciating experience. I still live with my elderly parents, pretending I'm still a believer to ensure I don't get kicked out and my basic needs are met. I wake up every single day to nothing, I go through the day doing nothing, and I go to sleep doing nothing, rinse and repeat. Minutes, hours, days have lost all meaning to me. I'm just watching it slip away from me. I'm scared of the outside. It's an embarrassing confession, but it's evident that I'm an underdeveloped child in a man's body. I've become obese (actually have already been since middle school), dependent, and hopeless. What little interests I had no longer make me feel anything, it just reminds me of fleeting time I will never get back. I'm simply waiting for this farce of an experience to end, all whilst extremely terrified that it will. I believe, or want to believe, that I have a small drop of hope left, but it was over before it even began.