It feels a bit dark

Im a Neet, and I dont hate it. The thing is that I live in the country side, I have no friend, no lover, no parents. It feels a bit dark as if im the only one in the world. I have an attentional disorder, and I spend every minute day dreaming, the result is that I feel like everything is a bit dark, as if I don’t really see the reality. Even when I go out for my walks, it’s often deserted which I prefer, but I feel like its dark and isolated somehow, basically it feels as if nothing is really important and as if time has disappeared