Is there any help for Hiki Neets to change in America? How did you escape Ex-neets?

This is getting old man. I really would like to change, there are just so many things I have to change... Yes, baby steps. But I fall off with even baby step changes. I fluctuate between feeling like "I'm gonna do something productive" and FUCKITALL quite frequently. Not to mention the anger and random crying. How can I even escape when I don't even really love or believe in my ability to escape? I need more help than just seeing a therapist if I'll ever change. I don't know what that might be I've been seeing a virtual psychologist for about a month now. It's okay, made some minor progress exercising and sleeping on time but I backslid. I'm also unsure how I feel about it in general. Doesn't seem that helpful and a lot of the time I've gotten drunk after the therapy meeting. He wanted me to go to AA and I refused, sorry not joining a cult because I binge drink once a week. He then wanted me to just moderate myself to seven drinks in a sitting instead of ten. Bro... there's no moderation with binge drinking! I don't drink alcohol to sip one or two like WHAT. Only thing that works for that is complete abstinence (at least for me and most people) Idk man, my psychologist is a big wig, a literal rich executive who has been a CEO of multiple companies. He said I was pessimistic and weird so that kinda pissed me off Fuck man I just want to be somewhat normal. I want to completely stop smoking weed, binge drinking, using ecigs. I want to be able to afford food, and a car, and be able to buy healthy foods. I want to be strong and healthy, and treat my body good. Yeah, these things can't be done in a week, but that's the ideal man. Get my health together, find a friend or two, get a part-time job, and expand the business I've attempted to start. Save up for 5 acres and build myself a nice little homstead in the woods. Sorry for the rant, but hope you can relate. And I hope you can absorb some of the last bits of hope for change I have. Sure doesn't seem possible but maybe it is, I don't know. The alternative is just ending it if I'm stuck this way for ever and I'd really rather not do that, that's quite a sad thing.