I received a wedding invitation but

My HS friend is getting married this month and I'm still thinking if I should attend or not. We were so close since we're friends since elementary. She's a good friend of mine. Both of us did not attend university and took different paths. We rarely meet and talk after HS graduation. The reason why I can't decide yet is I don't have money to buy her a gift. ( She knows I'm currently a NEET person, but I feel guilty if I can't bring anything). The second reason is, I don't have anything to wear and I feel insecure to my physical appearance ( I have illness that affects my physical appearance, its even get worse because I got depress. ). Third is I feel ashamed to myself, for being jobless, single, and socially awkward person. The last reason is, we used to be part of the same church. She's so religious and active right now in church with her future husband, while me, I stopped attending the church. The whole church knows me. In short, I feel shy to face them. I lost my faith tbh, and I can't explain the anxiety I feel each time the church is mentioned. A part of me want to attend despite if I can't bring anything and I need to face my former church mates again. I want to attend to her special day, but my anxiety and self shame stopping me. I really dislike social gathering. I even forget when was the time I attend a social gathering.