I miss it

It's been 2.5 months of working at a restaurant. I get along well with co-workers, I do my part and then try to recover for the next shift. I have cuts on my fingers, burns, and scars already. My back aches from having sometimes 11-hour shifts, my feet are sore. I am tired and live on auto-pilot. I don't know what's next or how long I'll be able to keep running this charade. I feel numb, I'm on anti-depressants and anxiety meds so those help me somewhat to cope. I just miss not being bound by these expectations and responsibilities of adult life. I miss my cozy room back home and my gaming PC, haven't gamed in 4 months and that used to be one of my coping strategies. Now it's just music, reading, and movies. I'm pretty much a loner and working as a cook you see these people coming in the restaurant. Families, friends, couples, enjoying a meal, talking about whatever it is they talk. And it makes you feel like an outsider, especially when you are all alone in a foreign country. No companionship, not that I crave it, I got used to being alone, but it's like observing a different version of what life can be, watching from the outside in. And at the same time being aware but detached from it. If that even makes sense.