i/NEET
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Forced to Career, Born to Enjoy Espressos - My Story
Childhood was good. At school we wrote comics and talked about Ninjago, FnaF, played that tank game on the computers in the library before class. At neighborhood we climbed trees, fought, explored, pooled together 3 dollars to afford day pass at the swimming pool. At home I read books, played with toys. Then came senior year of High School. I got a job at a fast food place, and started making money. I didnt have a car back then, any bills, so I was balling. It felt good. I felt on top. After graduation, i bought a civilian car for 2000 bucks, which is a steal, from a trustworthy family friend. That summer after high school was amazing. New car, just went to local hikes with childhood friends. Insurance was (still is, more or less) a scam and I hated it but otherwise I was carefree. *( btw best advice to anyone in hs - work for a year and just stack up. Trust me the bills and expenses just dont stop after that summer after high school. This is how i was relatively able to lazy maxx and work much less a few years later, I stacked early when I didnt have any real bills)* Then I realized I need to move up and move on, according to society. So I reluctantly applied to college and majored in something in which many people hear and say “oh wow, youre gonna make good money”. Here began the troubles. I never cared for this major. Never interested me whatsoever. No other major really interested me and this seemed the best option at the time. So I grudgingly continued in this path, paid 150$+ each semester for parking (money grab from school in my opinion, another scam) . 2 then 3 years of school, failed some classes, half assed passed some classes, paid more for bullshi parking, lost financial aid due to not passing classes (my fault frankly). 4 years, find out I still need an extra year of bs classes to graduate. More money out of my pocket. Anyways, I am still at the fast food place. Due to some legal related shit, i cant easily find other work. I work with some undocumented folks from mexico and bolivia and other places. Many of them are well into their 40s and 50s. This is around when I saw the cruel reality of work, life, society etc. I cant imagine being that old and working such a job. No disrespect to them whatsoever, but respectfully i wouldnt even want to live in that scenario, id rather be a Diogenes and live in the mountains (cant even do that nowadays in America without money) . Also seen many other ppl from high school go on and get super good paying jobs doing who knows what, driving nice cars etc. This is the painful part. So far ive been able to live somewhat unbothered with my low job, barely working around 10-20 hrs a week ( i hate working, i do the bare minimum) and was able to spend the rest of the hours just enjoying life kind of. Gym, swimming, exploring, coffees, watching YouTube, playing video games, just coasting. I definitely had to live below my means and sacrifice since i didnt have that impressive income, but i didnt mind. But as time goes on, more money goes out, less money comes in, hobbies getting costly, car repairs , food , just livign getting costly, i realized I cant continue doing the bare minimum. I also met some new people in college and met new people thru them. It seems there is only ballers with businesses, internships, money or people who are barely making ends meet nowadays. It’s painful to just sit in these circles hearing these people talk about starting their businesses, getting internships and offers, working 60+ hours a week (slavery imo), new cars etc. meanwhile I feel like I have nothing to show since 1. i still wageslave and 2. My career is stagnant since I half ass my college classes. My major in college is one of those in which your degree doesnt mean shit. The employeers priotize experience and projects. Even after I spend my time and money in college to get the degree I have to compete with some ppl who have been working on this since they were kids FOR FUN. Meanwhile I will hve halfassed my way thru college. I have little hope in getting a job in this field after college right now. It’s painful at family events when my siblings talk about their current careers/jobs with passion and confidence and when it comes to me I just give some halfassed answer. For years now. It’s painful to realize that other realize I have nothing to show for myself and nothing even around the corner. Im actually pretty happy sometimes, but my weakness is comparing self to others. Everyone around me just seems to have something going for them. For me, I feel like an imposter. I manage to blend in since I have saving right now, but every time I spend on even small things like coffee Ik my funds are drying. Everyone around me who started the race next to me is 100 meters ahead of me . I feel stagnant, stuck, leaking. Ive tried some business and shit but not gonna lie after the first few roadblocks I kinda just gave up. Living life of quiet desperation is an accurate saying for me. I just want enough to not care about money. Im only in my early 20s but I really miss my childhood days. I hate work. I hate grinding. I envy people who found income in something they are genuinely passionate about. How do people make the jump to better money? Right now my only prospects seem to be just moving around different minimum wage jobs. Which is more work, more hours, same bs. Meanwhile people really out here making 5,6,7 thousand dollars a month. Even 4k a month is a lot for me. Even 3k sounds really good to me. Like I said it just seems like either you are drowning or coasting nicely in a speedboat nowadays when it comes to money. Im basically unemployed right now. I work like one or two days a week right now. Each day I go to the gym and get a coffee and eat something and watch YouTube. However Deep down i am slowly getting more desperate. I could technically fully neet and just stop working. But honestly that would jsut make it worse. I have no passion, no grand mission in life right now. Its a painful slow poison. Everything I do, in the bakc of my head i am running numbers. Before sleeping I fantasize of randomly getting 100k, 50k, even 13k. Such is life right now. I fantasize of living like 750 years ago in some quiet tropical Island in Polynesia. No career, no resumes, just surfing, swimming, farming whatever. Ok yeah sure it wasnt all cake and cookies. Even if I did end up dying in some village raid or sum shit, at least I didnt have to participate years in my life doing factorylike work. Im truly NEET at heart. I often reminisce about my childhood carefree days while sipping my espresso, and then go back to stressign about money and career. Thanks for reading. Best of luck to us all.4
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