being a loser at 29 years old

there isn't a day that not having a girl haunts me. living like a legit unemployed loser just because of this low self esteem and social anxiety, even though i am not even ugly, some guys i've seen that are average-ugly have girlfriends and have cheating issues here in the philippines with girls above their levels lookswise(in social media, and even outside)... and these mental words(social anxiety, low self-esteem)are taken lightly these days, easily throw those words around, it seems like everybody have these mental issues now. damn... i just laugh it off sometimes, but it still hurts, every damn day 😂 i have realized, through decades of analyzing my situation and other people's situation with family, that the upbringing really determines whether you are fucked or not in your adulthood... i never felt loved being with my parents even though they supported me financially, never had a bonding with them that i felt happy ever since i was little, i always feel scared around them, that i mighy anger or upset them, they're very sensitive, and secretive about their feelings, i will just feel that their angry or do things covertly to make me feel guilty. there were alot of times i was also physically and emotionally punished as a child, a lot of kinds of physical punishment. they would always ignore me when i try to talk to them, when i ask a question they would purposefully confuse me for me to not understand, and when i ask again they would be mad. it's a long story, but i never felt heard as a child even with simple as casual talk, i couldn't connect well with people at school, sometimes i am bullied, and my parents weren't safe to tell those problems, they would just talk to me if, they talk to me first, and just talk about themselves, doesn't let me talk, or they would get mad. in other families where i see the child is comfortably talking to their parents, without looking nervous, they get along with other people easily. edit: feel free to say whatever you wanna say, be it negative or neutral, positive.