i/NEET
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Anyone feels like the world just doesn't want you in it?
Hello, i've been a lurker on this subreddit for a while now and even if i try to not turn into a NEET even if deep down i want to because i literally would just die cause my mom's selfish and doesn't even know how to do shit herself and my dad died from covid but he wasn't the best example of a dad either. I've had social anxiety since high school from bullying so since that i've been used to just being in my room all day and after that i thought of doing what felt logical at the moment with getting myself a small degree in computer stuff to fix pc's and such and an almost as good degree as an university programming one. Idk its some stuff pretty normal in spain and places like germany called vocational training. Then i had a trip with a friend to walk across the north of spain to celebrate the degrees and got my foot ran over by a car and got a good ammount of insurance for in exchange having a bunch of nails getting to be a part of me permanently at the age of 21. Then after i recover my mom abandoned my grandma cause "she deserves a life" (bitch so i gotta eat that charge now with my brother?) i shit you not on the 25 of december a year ago and i had to spend like 6 months taking care of her meanwhile she kept getting issues like her growing dementia and her speeded up decline of her body i also had to change diapers and clean up. In general spend all that time just being a caregiver 24/7 with atleast some help of my older brother that lived far away and sometimes passed by to help with stuff. Then now here i am after all of that just kinda lost in what to do wich i guess probably is kinda normal for a young adult but whatever i try to do just feels like a futile effort. I've been wondering lately just why is everything in this modern world so complicated even when stuff is so streamlined, specially with work stuff. I've finished stuff like high school just fine and even went to get degrees in shit i really just care for making money but now because i've spent like 2 years without doing anything the world sees as "productive" like slaving yourself into a job just to get the greens now i can't even do shit. It makes me think whats the point with anything really? got a degree and spent 4 years working your ass off to nothing? Tried to gather some balls and see if i could start something with someone i liked? I just got ghosted. Tried to have a normal life? Too bad, should have been born in another house apparently. Now i am pretty much just living off what i still have from the insurance money from getting my foot ran over and just sending my CV to the very few job offers i see pop-up on stuff like linkedin that doesn't need you to have 5 years of experience with the hope that something will show up. Meanwhile i am also trying to get a driver's license even if i hate cars but hey everyone says its like super important and shit so sure why not, not like i was doing much anyways. If by the time i give up or actually get my driver's license i don't find a job ill just probably have to join something like a temporary job agency to get some money even if ill be moving from here to there all the time and overall live like shit but oh well. I know my life isn't as shit as some other people but what are your thoughts people? I can't allow myself to be a NEET because i don't have family anymore and i wanna let my brother do his thing. How did you guys fall into being NEET? Was it from the world just dismissing your attempts at moving forward too?5
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