Any Ex-NEETs here still haunted by their past NEET lives?

Was a NEET for quite a while due to extreme anxiety and suicidal thoughts until 2 years ago. After seeking help, I am currently enrolled in University and have to apply and complete an Internship to fulfil graduation requirements. However, my mental health issues are still there....and also I think that I am not motivated at all. I kept having thoughts of failing my internship, and I ain't motivated to learn, like I gave up on life itself. The NEET life felt so good and horrible at the same time. I had so much time watching shows, playing games, lying at home but I also felt guilty for not doing shit and leeching off my parents. The road ahead is still long....trying to regain my motivation or to stay discplined but damn it's hard....