Seeing everyone achieving in their life sometimes haunts me.

Hello , i don’t know why i am writing this but i dont have anyone to share as i am living alone. Having quite helping friends but not mature enough to lift me up. I am soon to be turned 23M i know its a young age and i have plenty of time. But continuously i get this thought i have wasted my 2 to 3 years by doing nothing. I dropped out of my college studies. Have multiple backs(KT). Past two years i wasted my times here and there doing noting. Binge watch, spending most of the time indoors, destroyed my social life, didn’t acquired any skills inspite of having a whole days as null sitting in my room. Didn’t even take cared of taking health seriously. On the side, seeing young guys from collages and online having productive time and even achieving their goals in such a young and starting age. I was a very good in my studies, used to study 9hrs or sometimes 12 hrs for a day. I scored 78% in 12 th in cbse. Previously i was a state board student. My mom used to prepare me for mainly maths and science competitions exams. I even attempted many and other competitive exams. After my 10th exam her health declined. Due to health conditions, i was depressed for almost a years. Somehow i cleared my 11 th exams and when i was preparing for my 12 th, my mum realised that i was going through something inside. One days she called me and kissed me on my cheeks and said i need you to do your best in 12 th.That thing hit me hard and i started taking my thing seriously. Today i amazed that without getting into additional classes and any tutors i scored pretty well and that too by myself. When I remember how productive and good i used to be, i again get into the same loop of getting low and unmotivated. Recently i have been getting thought that you have wasted quite a lot of time, and everything you do will be in vain. Inspite of knowing every reality that nothing goes vain if we put hardworking on something. Please forgive me for my english. I have used voice assistance as my fingers are fractured a bit. Could someone help me to show me visibility , ways , how can i back myself and be what i was.