Feeling lost and frustrated

My mom and dad are alcoholics and I feel like I just never experienced the love from parents like a normal person does. This has traumatised me emotionally to a point that every time I meet my boyfriend’s parents or any parents, I feel like I’m missing and have lost out on so much in life. I have been living in Navi Mumbai <> Dubai as my father runs an impex business. This business has taken a toll on his health and he’s now bedridden but still continues to partake. My mother, well let’s just say I don’t feel like talking to her because she’s always intoxicated and grumpy. I am constantly torn between trying to sober them up V/S not talking to them for my mental wellbeing. Even considering going to therapy for it now. Worst part - no one I can talk to about this and it’s embarrassing when my boyfriend talks to them when they’re drunk out of their wits - I think he can sense the situation already. Can’t event talk to him because that is so embarrassing! What do I even do?!