Why do I still feel like an outsider here?

I've lived in Kochi for practically my entire life. Spent the most important formative years of it here. Inspite of that, for some reason I have not been able to grow any real appreciation for Mallu culture or tradition. And I feel really awful about it. I have never been interested in Malayalam movies, music, media in general. I have no interest in Kerala festivals, no fondness for mallu food as such. But I think worst of all, I've started to despise the people here too, unfairly too perhaps. I feel so tired trying to interact with Malayalis nowadays. I feel like Mallus are so sarcastic and eager to demean, mock and condescend, their tone always sounds insincere to me. Or on the other hand, mallus (especially young ones my age) seem to be so full of anger. It's like every single young adult malayali is just ITCHING to get into any spat, fight, argument they can to prove something to themselves or others. It's exhausting and it's made me resentful and distant from falling in with general mallu society. A lot of this probably has to do with the fact that I grew up in an English medium school and spent some of my childhood abroad. But I feel like by now I should've at least come to appreciate something from here. But I don't, and every other day I dream of getting out of here and perhaps never coming back. Maybe it's the same everywhere else too, maybe the problem is with me. But I wanted to get this off my chest. I've tried to mix and fall in, but I simply can't.