Is this normal and anyone else in the same boat ?

Don’t know if its appropriate Is it normal to have thoughts like ‘ wat if ? Or it wud have been better to not wake up in the morning/ just pass away in sleep ‘? I get thoughts like these when I’m going thru shit and is just tired of dealing the same shift all over again day by day. Maybe like an escape or an easy way out or something like that. At the same time I can never ever hurt myself or let anyone else hurt me physically ( mental hurt has just been constant throughout so 🥲) Instead of bawling my eyes out n overthinking , crying myself to sleep I wish there was some kind of an eternal solution! Also I started thinking this way few years back when I had a minor surgery n I was in post op , couldn’t sleep n told a nurse the same , ( I just wanted to talk till I fall asleep) but wat a sudden surprise, she went back to the station got something n looked me in the eye said something,I felt something in the cannula and the best sleep ever !!!