I am convinced I have AuDHD but my psychologist doesn’t believe me

Last year I went through a very traumatic event. I was 5 months pregnant, and I went into preterm labour. Gave birth to my 18 week old baby boy and I buried him the next day. I was very suicidal after this and my husband found me a wellness centre. While we originally sought out therapy to keep me from killing myself, they did administer a questionnaire and told me I also scored very high for BPD, Anxiety disorder and OCPD. Initially I was very happy because I felt like it explained so many questions I had. In the surface level it explained all my behaviours and thoughts and why I am the way I am. However, I am not someone who takes something you say and believe it even if you are an expert. I like to do my own research. I worked as an Academic Content Editor for a while which was basically editing studies so they could be published in journals and it taught me how to read and discern studies. I love research. I love learning. So the more I researched about BPD, the more I was convinced I didn’t have it. This research led me to learning about ADHD. It’s been two months and now I’m convinced I have ADHD. I brought this up to my psychologist and she told me (quoting word for word) “you don’t have ADHD because I have been observing you since you’ve come to us and you don’t fidget or play on your phone”. At that moment I had learnt enough about ADHD to know that she had no idea what she was talking about. After that session, I started making a list in my notes app about my behaviour and personality traits and why I think I have ADHD so I could show her the note. However, as I made this list (of 45 points total) I realised some of the points were the extreme opposite of a sign or symptom of ADHD. For eg. I generally have two phases: my routine phase: this is the phase where I get things done. I have a strict routine where every single minute of the day is mapped out. I have a designated time for all tasks and activities and rest. I need to strictly follow the routine to function. If I miss even a minute of the routine I fall into my non routine phase. My non routine phase is basically just me lying on the couch watching series after series while simultaneously playing on my phone and having executive dysfunction thinking about everything that needs to get done but feeling like my body is paralysed and then hating myself for it. This is one of the examples of the points I jotted down. And that is what led me to autism. I took the RAAD-R test 3 times because each time I thought I was gas lighting myself and I got a score of 162, 159, and 160 respectively. I brought all this up to my psychologist and they refuse to believe me. It took all of my willpower to behave like a normal human being in public. I resonate with so many autistic people and adhder’s experiences on Reddit, and other forms of social media and I just need someone to listen to me. When I brought all this up to my psychologist he first said I don’t have adhd or autism. Then he said you might have some adhd traits but you do not have autism. I then told my psychologist your opinion is great but I want to get tested for ADHD and autism. I want to take actual tests for it and I don’t want to just be diagnosed or not diagnosed based on your opinion. He then told me if you had it you would have gotten tested in your childhood and there are no tests you can take as an adult(which I know is bs because I know many adults who have gotten a late diagnosis). When I told him about my RAADS-R score, he said that is a test administered in the Western culture and it is not accepted in India and it doesn’t mean anything. And also that in India we don’t have any tests for adult ADHD and adult Autism. Then I told him that I have found another psychiatrist who specialises In neuro developmental disorders and I was thinking of going to her to get tested because I want a diagnosis. I told him I am not looking for treatment or medications. I just need to know what I have. Then he told me there are some rare tests to check if you have ADHD and Autism but he has to discuss with his colleagues. He gave me three different answers to the same question. First: you don’t have adhd/autism and there are no tests to check for adult ADHD/Autism. Second: Tests in western culture and Indian culture is different and Western tests is not accepted or administered in India. Third: There are some tests in India but they are very rare. So which is it? He then told me that I am on a journey of self discovery and if I really love research I should look to take an MSC in Psychology. Like wtf???? Can someone please help me with this???