Feeling stuck in life

Hey Cocos, Well, more than a post, I consider this my venting. I don't know if everyone goes through the same, but I've been feeling stuck - everything feels like a mountain to climb. I got a new job, which was like the dream kind of role, the one I've always wanted and also the company I've been trying to get into for more than 4 years. Yet even that didn’t make me feel content. Now, it feels like I don’t even want to work because all I can think about is how it's a new role, a new project, a new team with high achievers. I need to learn everything from scratch, which again feels like a mountain. So, for some time, I’ve been avoiding my work as much as possible - taking leaves, telling myself "tomorrow." But I know that the day will come when I need to face it head-on. I’m just pushing it as much as I can. (By the way, the same thing happened in my last job, which, I would say, was one of the reasons they actually removed me from the team). Back when I started my career, I was the best, working my ass off, yet maintaining good WLB. I loved to work. But then I kept jumping from company to company, like I don’t belong anywhere. In my personal life, I’ve been trying to be better for a long time now, trying to lose weight, trying to get moving. I’ve been trying to quit smoking for the past 3 weeks, but the maximum I’ve managed is 9 hours without a cigarette, barely. There’s also a lot of financial stress at home because of my father’s business going south (which leads to a lot of fighting between my parents). I try not to care or listen to it because, every time I try to solve their issues, it ends up backfiring on me. Yet, somehow, I always end up blaming myself for it. I know it’s not my fault, nor can I do anything to help them, but it still weighs on me. On top of that, I’m dealing with a lot of financial stress myself. I haven’t been handling it well, and I have a huge amount of debt in the form of credit cards, loans, and money I owe to friends. When it comes to relationships, I had one 5 years ago, but it ended badly. Since then, I’ve stopped looking for one. I’ve tried dating apps, but they never worked. Literally, I’ve never had a single match. As lame as it sounds, this really impacted my self-confidence. I remember even asking some friends for a genuine opinion - whether I’m that bad-looking. I know I’m not great-looking, but I thought I’d be at least average. I also had an experience I’d call a platonic situationship, which again turned into another blow in my life. Eventually, I realized I’m a whole mess, and unless I heal, there’s no point in looking for someone else to fill that void. Why should I burden someone else with my trauma and destroy their peace of mind? I remember, 2-3 years ago, I had a much better lifestyle - doing things properly, working hard, and having good times with friends. Back then, "good times" meant something meaningful, not just getting drunk or smoking 100 cigarettes a day. I had hobbies to keep me going, and life was peaceful and simple, a life I enjoyed. Now I’m 28 and feel way behind in life. I’ve tried everything - creating routines, starting step by step, watching every YouTube video, doing gratitude journaling, all those ways and listening to every podcast on how to improve but nothing has worked. TLDR: Somewhere along the way, I lost the life I had. Now I’m stuck in a life that doesn’t even feel like mine.