How you guys feel alive ?

Idk man I Just feel empty. Nothing make me happy nowadays i wanted to cry but I can't. I don't feel like a good person inside. I made so many mistakes in my past i always think about that . Lost close friend :( i feel depressed but I can't share with anyone. I go to work with this fake smile / i act normal with people but Im sad person. I wish i can change this Looking for some help thanks you Sorry for bad English 🙏