okay everyone i got 60 percentile

i was in the middle of a mock and results were out. scored 32 in phys (was 80 in april attempt last year iss bar 1 number pe 32) 75 in chemistry (was at 66 last year) and 55 in maths (same as last year) i know i could do much much better. please dont spread any hate. im not telling mom n dad rn but im fucking happy because i was expecting worse, plus i know imma make a HUGE jump in april and also because its finally out and is not going to give me any anxiety anymore and i can make a fresh start. i never wasted a second on result searching or marks vs percentile or anything, just saw mathongo tele channel rn and clicked on the link. IDK what people (including parents) are going to say or think about me but my truth is, i am a 100 marks scorer. many reasons including : 1)not focusing on full syllabus 2)not revising every fucking day 3)not tackling tough math problems but only depending upon what the pattern follows 4)not solving tough physics questions and solely relying on formulae 5) not reading the fucking ncert despite of knowing all too well 6) getting scared of topics i always used to freak out of and not touching them despite of that 7) scared of maths 8) judging myself on the basis of mock scores and fixating over one institute mock. 9) not taking mocks as a source of improvement but judgement 10) having a chaotic mind all the fucking time. 11) panic on the final day. TOOK AWAY MY POTENTIAL SCORE FROM ME. im not here to do some b\*kchodi by giving some gyan to ya'll but im just here to share what my mistakes were to stay accountable, im not a fucking fool doing this to give suggestions to anybody because im clearly not in a position to, but i really wanna take care of every single mistake i made even in my drop year even though i studied hard but not in a STRUCTURED manner. i henceforth take a pledge to make every day, every hour count and work in my favour. the best thing mates is to stay CALM, no matter what your scores were, they are so not related to what they will be. you might get a lot of hate, but lonely we're the strongest. WE CAN DO IT YA'LL. To everyone who's gonna call me a loser, you may do so as many times as you wish to, imma rise above it even more than what i already have. Lastly, im accountable for everything that has happened to me, and will be accountable for anything that will be happening to me. I'm so much more than my scores and will prove it soon! Love and only love to anyone who's read it so far.