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I Need Help
I'm (18M), JEE-25 aspirant. My Jee-Main Session-1 percentile was something many people consider good but neither me not my parents are happy. (99.3xx%ile aayi hai meri) I did my JEE preparation from outside my hometown and have come back for 12th Boards. My goal has always been JEE-Adv but eversince I've come home, mene basically padhna chod hi diya hai. I just can't bring myself to study anymore. Advanced toh door ki baat hai, I can't even bring myself to study for the Board exam. I spend a majority of my day scrolling reddit Or watching YouTube or just some TV-Show Or playing online games. Galti se thodi padhai ho jati hai. I took JEE on my own accord, I was never forced by my parents to take a specific stream. My parents are both working, and are rarely ever at home. Most of the time I am alone in the house. They think that I study all day. They ask me, "beta padhai achi chal rahi hai na?" I always say yes. Even though I'm lying to myself while saying that. I feel very bad when I lie to them like that but I just can't get myself to study anymore. I'm fed up with everything. I wanna be done with this shit. I'm very confused right now. While my competition is busy studying their ass of for Mains Session-2 as well as Advanced, I'm wasting everyday. And as each day goes by, my anxiety also rises. I know the obvious answer is that I should keep studying or try to study hard, but I don't think I can do this anymore. I just feel like ki jo chal raha hai, chalne do. But jo chal raha hai, vo bhi thik nahi hai. Is there anything I can do? (PS: Sorry for the long post.) (I know most people are gonna ignore this. But I just felt like this is a place where I can say the things I want to.) (I'll be deleting reddit at 12pm tomorrow, vapis tab hi aaunga when the feeling is right, not that you care)5
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