I am a mess

I am a dropper and abhi tak kuchh nahi aata matlab literally 0 Aur mujhe pata hai mai accept karta hu mene 3 saal kharab kiye hai aur uske liye mai khud hi jimmedar hu Mera jan mains mai kuchh nahi ho sakta and naa hi kuchh smajh aa raha hai Beech mai boards bhi hai kyuki yes mene pichle saal mere boards bhi chod diye theyy aur ab mera dimag kharab hota jaa raha hai Ab please koi bata sakta hai ki Mai kese is mess ko theek karu Kya mai April mains tak jiske beech mai mere boards bhi hai usme 95+ laa sakta hu or atleast 90+ Taki atleast meri ijjat Bach jaaye Mai private college afford nahi kar sakta aur agar kar bhi liya to yehi tansion rahegi ki ab iske baad bhi sahi placements nahi hua to Aur mujhe kuchh samajh nahi aa raha mujhe kya karna chahiye agar koi senior hai to bata sakta hai ki agar mere 90+ percentile aa gaye to second drop lena chahiye ki nahi aur agar naa aaye to private college hi le lena chahiye kya PLEASE MERI HELP KARDO I know I created this mess par ab is se kese bahar nikal sakta hu