How to be consistent in prayers?

I think i am a believer, i grew up in a household where pooja happened every single day, homas happened often etc. The man i married and his family do absolutely nothing. I don’t live with his family but he participates if i push for it. My whole life i have been on and off. I go for months feeling a strong connection to god, chanting vishnu sahasra nama and other mantras everyday and then months without doing nothing. I have tried to analyze the pattern and do see the classic change in attitude when life doesnt go well or something really good happens. But when things are calmer, i see myself go into a pattern of, well, not even thinking of god or looking in that direction. It also becomes difficult to have a conversation because i feel like maybe god doesn’t exist and i am just being delusional. I am currently going through a hard time in this relationship. In the past i would run to god and say take me one way or another. Either get this relationship to improve or give me the strength to leave. These days i have stopped asking for anything. What do i do? How do i find consistency one way or another?