Where, Is, The, Love?

First and foremost, prep talks about suicide do not help actually suicidal people i am not here for that. I pray to God multiple times a day for love for years. I pray for guidance (also pray with gratitude being thankful aswel), I meditate on my chakras (so I believe I do), I think positively and believe my positive thoughts to 100%, I release and forgive the ones who hurt me through life to the bottom of my heart, I forgive myself and beg for forgiveness to God for anything I have and might have done. Idk what is God waiting for? If not a love life, then why not peace of some sort, I need a real connection not just sex. I feel that feeling in my stomach when your reeeeeaaalllyyy angry everyday, but dont have the want to express it. I just constantly meditate to release it and pray when life gets too hard to handle. I stretch and do some yoga, I work out often even though I took a break, I love my family and friends and cherish everyone. They need a break with their “lovers”. Im starting to think God doesn’t exist because when does it end. Where is my break and reward for all the years hardwork? Im constantly rejected by the opposite sex, by jobs, by my family, by my peers. And I have to sit here everyday and a 25yr old man reflecting on my decisions and manifesting a new beginning. I also watch the energy of the world like Schumann Resonance and the Astrological changes often. Ive been on this journey for 7 years and been praying for solutions all my life. I overcame abuse, molestation, and my family feud all by myself. WHERE IS THE LOVE MAN!!!! Its getting to the “un-alive” point. To anyone answering, convincing me to stay on earth is not an option, 7 years of questions unanswered and hellish reality. Do not be selfish into thinking I have to stay here for the benefit of others while I suffer a mediocre experience.