I have no life experiences.. I am feeling scared and anxious.

I used to get bullied in school. That killed all my confidence and I never got it back. Then in college i went into addictions ..never enjoyed life rejected myself before talking to any girl and didn't took the chances with the girls who were interested in me . I never had a girlfriend and I am a 6' 1 and I look good ( i know that but I have a very low self esteem) In two or three years I wil get married(probably AM) i am scared how I will be able to be with a experienced girl. She will not respect me knowing that I was a looser who got her because arrange marriage exist.