Last 6 years have gone same so tired of myself

Sighs I'm just so tired and fed up mentally like why can't I just be normal person. Mind is always into overthinking mode and I always get this bad thoughts that bring me down. I end up carrying shame anxiety and fear everyday in life because of that I'm not even living my life and functioning as an adult. Like I've not been working for 2 years and didn't attend college. Don't drive because of fear. Consuming motivation content and doing repetitive things and hoping things will change has basically ruined my life. I don't know how do I pull myself out of this rut