Bad luck always find me no matter where I go......

When I was eight year old, I lost my father. Then I have spent my life with out any expectations far from reality. Suddenly I started building infatuation for a girl as a result I started feeling motivated and also started studying whole heartedly. All was good till my secondary exam day; during my exam I feel panicked and waste my hardwork. Again I lost hope from life and started working and completed my higher secondary school from open school. Seeing my hard work one kind person started helping me from my college days. I studied so hard in my graduation and admitted myself for masters. All things went smoothly till then, I was expecting good job after my masters but during that course I started feeling intimidate from some of my friends and also some classmates. I didn't able to take the heat and I went strong depression and hallucinations. I took bed rest and strong medication for 3 months. I dropped out myself from that course due to mental health and lost all the hopes from my life. It was 2023 ......I didn't know what to do.....I am so much anxious to return the help to the person who helped me last 4 years. Only one option was left that time for me and that was government job. I prepared so hard during this time and gave SSC CGL. But whatever I do my luck is something.......oh sorry it would be my bad luck is something what didn't want to leave. I am right now in the border because I have done 4 silly mistake in my reasoning part. Right now I am living in Delhi. Don't have any friends or any hopes n life. Never been into any kind of stuff except study and lots of pressure. Most probably reading this you will not know the amount of pressure I am feeling right now. Life is sometime very hard for some people. Sorry for my english......I know it is not good. Please don't say anything negative. If you can share some positivity and virtual hugs. I will hopefully again give my exam....... but Luck??!!!!......may be waiting for it's next part........................