HELP! I Feel So Lonely in Dehradun

Hey everyone, I really need help. I’m a 24-year-old guy who grew up in a super strict household where I wasn’t allowed to make friends or hang out. My whole life was just school → tuition → home. I even did my graduation through an open university, so I never got to experience college life, friendships, or fun. A couple of months ago, I finally moved out from my home and shifted to Dehradun under the pretext of coaching/exams. I’ve met a few guys here who are in university, and even though they’re 4-5 years younger than me, I vibe with them like crazy. But the problem is—they have their own lives, best friends, and routines, and I constantly feel like I’m imposing myself on them. When I’m with them, I feel alive for the first time. But the moment I’m alone in my room, it hits me like a truck. I feel empty, I wait for their texts, hoping they’ll include me in their plans. To distract myself, I’ve been overindulging in unhealthy habits—staying up till 4 AM watching movies, skipping meals, and even fapping twice a day just to relieve stress. But nothing is helping. Every morning, I wake up feeling lonely, and lately, the thought of ending it all has been creeping in. I don’t want to feel like this. I just want to experience real friendships and a sense of belonging. If anyone has been through this, or if you have advice, please help. I don’t want to spiral further. Please help me, I am lost!