people are moving forward in their life

was a good student ,i liked a girl in school, never told her , had depression , dropped out of school, cant finish school,nor join college,had depression for 2 years, wen to therapist, looked her profile on linked in , she is on a different level than me, iam planning to find closure and get rejected or else can i leave it on its own and never tell her anything, my heart is aching and i have hyperventilated many times along with lots of panic attacks