Need help

Hello I am a 20 yo boy from India. From 2019 due to my toxic house environment i had been under pressure but studied and achieved top grades. From 2022 i just broke due to JEE exam when my mother and sister didn't supported supported me. I just needed some support and affection. On 19th I was taken to a psychiatrist who just prescribed me Escitalopram 5mg and klonopon 0.5 at morning and klonopin 0.5 mg at night for 20 days. This was the first time i was taking any meds. Initially I felt good and so I decided to choose computer science in my hometown college. But my mother and sister bullied or mentally broke me at that time. So I told her to bring both the meds again for 20 days more and i think i took them again only to get more breakdowns and seizures (i dont exactly can say). Then i just went to hostel for 3 months. At that time i felt bad but my mood was sometimes good but i felt confusions like forgetting peoples name, couldn't comprehend words, etc. So i went back home. This time psych gave me only Escitalopram 10mg . I took but got more crying so he gave 20 mg escitalopram which i took only for 1 day but got so brain feeling that I decided to just cut down to 5 mg since then for 2 months i took 5 mg and then 2.5 mg . But yes i was doing yoga and meditation and was better than before. So i thought let's go to hostel again. But my mother resisted so much that it got bad again and i suddenly took Escitalopram 10mg once. And then things went pretty bad for some days till i reach my hostel. At hostel due to a bad roommate i couldn't survive and came back home .But then i couldn't forget the things from hostel so psych told me to use 20 again. But i thought since I got so better let me take 20 mg for 8 weeks. Since then I took 20mg lexapro for 8 weeks and got serious heart aches tinnitus. Is this serotonin syndrome and is it recoverable? During that time I got hyper agitated at my friend but got bullied down again. I then took 15 mg for 3 weeks. 10 mg for 7 weeks like this to 0 in Nov 2024. Its been 3 and half months of no meds. But i am not feeling any hope and again in class some sort of bad behaviour and bullying is occuring. I am scared to take meds again. Should i try wellbutrin to increase dopamine. Is my receptors damaged forever. The biggest issue is i dont even feel good with my mom and sister. So i just stay alone. I cant share things with anyone. I just want to somehow get a good enough job and some good friends. May be one day I will feel again and heal. I will try rtms or ketamine if I become free from all of these in future