The love of my life started porn and I feel dead inside

I don't know what to say or which sub to post this in. I feel sick, I feel sad. I guess I could use some help by just venting. I'm \[21M\], and I fell in love three years ago in college. A lot happened back then—some of my old posts might give you an idea. I was cheated on (which she didn’t even consider cheating), lied to, manipulated, and hurt in ways I never imagined. I’ve been quiet since childhood—introverted, laughed at for being that way. But she made me feel safe. I could talk to no one else, but with her, I shared everything. Her flat was my safe space. Her room was my safe space. I remember how I felt in her arms—that peace. Then everything changed. I can’t explain it all in one post, but what I can say is that I loved her more than anything. It’s been three years. I’ve moved on—or at least I thought I had—but I still dream about her. I remember her eyes, the warmth of her hands. I loved her more than anything in this world. I wanted to be with her. I barely slept—just 3-4 hours a day—because I was pushing myself to earn, to move in with her. I just needed a little more time. I was in her city. I had decided I would never message her again. But somehow, I searched for her online. And I found her. She now creates OnlyFans NSFW content. There are hundreds of videos of her online. She takes night/24-hour bookings from men. She sells herself. There are rate charts for inviting her. Men are sending her up to $4,000. The girl I once wanted to build a life with… there are hundreds of videos of her with different men. And it’s not just that. She’s into some extreme, misandrist BDSM stuff—"you're my slave" type of things. I feel sick to my stomach. I saw all of it. I already had enough to deal with from what she did to me back then, but now… I can’t forget what I saw. The rate charts. The videos. The things. A part of me still loved her, more than anything. I feel so sorry. If I had just a little more money back then, I could have gotten the flat she wanted us to move into. Maybe she would have never left. I feel so weird. The person I shared my body and soul with, the person I loved the most… and I saw *that* today. I don’t know who to say this to. Who to tell. I don’t want to continue after what I saw. I feel sick. I don’t know what to do. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to see her like this. I’m so sorry. Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen at all? I don’t know anything anymore. I failed.