I'm totally broken today

M sitting in a dark room ( electricity cut) writing this post. I run an oil business, Gave products on credit to vendors, my payments got stuck since past 2 months. Had kid, lost my sister few days ago. Suffering from high bp. Today electricity got cut due to non payment of bill. Tomorrow home loan emi no one to help, no one to go to. Feeling lost feelings like doing something worst to myself but cannot as i have responsibilities now. Cannot continue my business tomorrow as no payments received, no raw materials to work tomorrow. I'M TRULY BROKEN TODAY