How to stop feeling like a bad person?

I 18f and my bf 19m (now ex), parted ways 4 days ago. It was a mutual breakup, happened just before boards. It was induced because I broke down in front of him cause I was trying to please him throughout the relationship, chnged my whole personality..schedule...spent less time with friends and family and tolerated his emotional outbursts and made him feel heard everytime that I could even tho I had exams or whatever....but the only time I was good enough for him was when I didn't speak and took a stand for myself. I didn't Even blame him, just expressed my sadness. He was the reason for it all but I just...could'nt say it bcz I was afraid of his emotional reaction and maybe cared for him too. He believed that couples, who are in a long term relationship will shout at eachother at some point...and I agreed...but he was disrespectful. It was a long distance relationship, but yeat i felt like he crushed me beneath his boots everytime he spoke to me in anger. I stared being afraid of him and walked on eggshells all the time. It drove me crazy...and i started having various issues like anxiety around him. I adapted to his ways in everything possible...and whenever I complained about a problem...he was already having that problem before me and told me 4 more of my behaviour characteristics that bothered him. I was stuck in a loop...the day i screamed back at him cause I was not at fault, was the day he said "babe you can't take things so dominantly this will lead to an end if you wanna take things so dominantly then it's better to end it". I fought, for myself in the end... only to hear that I've changed and I've stopped understanding him. Everything I did was never good enough, was met with criticisms and complains. Even during the breakup I was feeling guilty as hell...i appreciated him for his part but all i received in return was passive agressiveness...as if he wa enjoying what he heard. He said he is leaving me for me bcz he doesn't wanna hurt me more. I had to beg for closure...for appreciation. Didn't feel it even after receiving it. I'm still feeling like i could've done more. What do I do? Tdlr: please read, it's interesting