I m in soo much distress . Please read and help if u can ,I m breaking ,I m alone helpless

I’ve always been someone who overthinks a lot—a lot. It drains my mind so much that when I try to think less, it feels unnatural. Sometimes thinking less helps, but often I feel like overthinking has become automatic, and that ends up ruining the moment. I try reminding myself how I used to live before—day by day, enjoying life as it came, without stressing excessively. I focused on completing tasks, celebrating moments with my family, and simply enjoying outings. But things started to derail in 2020. In 2020, during my 12th boards, I convinced myself that I needed to maintain a specific thought process to score high. I kept replaying the idea that I needed to think like I did in 10th grade, when I used to just go with the flow. This constant mental pressure to score 99+ consumed me for months. I became stuck in this repetitive loop, which made life feel stale and boring. Simple things like taking a bath—things that should’ve refreshed me—felt like chores. Then, I started thinking about the past. Memories that were once peaceful, happy, and fresh started to haunt me. They reminded me of what I was no longer feeling, which deepened my anxiety. In August 2020, I had a complete breakdown. I visited a homeopathic doctor who warned me about slipping into depression from the intense pressure. I realized I needed to break free, but fighting my own mind wasn’t easy. I started paying close attention to my thoughts, and it was exhausting. I went through multiple breakdowns—secretly. My thoughts became overwhelmingly negative. I felt like my life had turned into something irreversibly negative. I couldn’t control these thought patterns, which constantly made me feel helpless. Random thoughts about what caused this spiral made me question everything, but I kept drowning in this mental struggle. By the end of 2020, my brother said something that stuck with me: "You’ve got to heal; no one else can do it for you." That moment was life-changing. His words motivated me to keep pushing through. In 2021, after another breakdown, he reminded me of this again, and those words pushed me to keep fighting. Around 2021, I realized I was still stuck in many thought patterns, but I started fighting back harder. 2022 was a turning point. That year felt like a miracle. I was getting better and better—I got good grades, joined a good college, and enjoyed my first semester. Sure, I struggled with some thoughts here and there, but I developed a coping mechanism where I kept repeating to myself that my life is valuable and precious. At one point in 2022, I worried about thoughts of being "unworthy" or "not alive," but I reminded myself how much I had progressed. I even confessed my thoughts from 2020 to my family and felt relief. That year, I realized how crucial it is to fight for mental health and how much progress I had made. 2023 was another year of growth, but like life, it had its ups and downs. Early 2024, however, hit me hard. I had another small breakdown where old thoughts resurfaced. These patterns from 2020 made me feel like they were a part of me again, but this time, I knew they weren’t true. I recognized them as a reflection of past struggles, not my current reality. Despite the challenges, I kept moving forward. In 2024, my family faced a tough time when a loved one was hospitalized. Thankfully, they recovered, but I failed to land an internship during my 5th semester. That failure hit me hard, and my CGPA dropped to 6.67. But, I didn’t let this stop me. I bounced back and managed to score an SG of 8+ in my 5th semester, which boosted my overall GPA. That felt like a small victory and reminded me of my resilience. Now, it’s 2025. My mind still feels heavy at times, and overthinking hasn’t fully gone away. Some days I analyze my own thought patterns and wonder why I overthink or how I let small things consume so much of my energy. Sometimes random, negative thoughts pop into my head, and I find myself stuck in repetitive loops. Thoughts like, Why do people overthink? Why am I overthinking?—they just circle around, making me more exhausted. Lately, I’ve started taking my thoughts more seriously. I’m reflecting on why they happen and trying to identify patterns. I’ve realized these patterns don’t define me—they’re just habits my mind has formed but as those past thoughts resurfaced again ,I feel like they might kill me. How can I get better at managing overthinking and breaking these thought patterns for good? I’d love to hear advice or tips from anyone who has gone through something similar. Thanks for listening. 💙