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How do you deal with uninvited guests?
For context, I am a single early 30s guy living in Gurgaon. A second cousin of mine who lives in my ancestral village called me a couple of months ago to tell me that he is planning to visit Delhi and if I would be there during December. I said I would be there and we should meet when he visits. I last met this cousin at his wedding more than a decade ago. But, I know him well because he stayed with me and my parents for one year (when he was in college) when I was a kid. His family stays in our village and he was studying in our city. His father was from a poorer economic segment and was my dad's childhood friend, so, we offered him to lodge with us. He dropped out of the course in a year and went back to the village. He is 10/11 years older than me, but, I formed a good friendship with him when he was staying with us. My mom never liked him because he used to smoke, had apparently formed friendships with some local ruffians etc. Moreover, despite being in his 20s, he never did any personal chores (washing clothes, helping with cooking, cleaning room) and expected my mom to do everything for her. But, he was respectful to my parents and I got along with him, largely, so, everything was good. We left the city and gradually lost contact and had not talked for last 10 years or so. Now, two days ago, he messaged me that he was reaching my city at 11 PM in the night with his wife and two young daughters and asked me how I was going to pick him up. I got the shock of my life when I realized that he was expecting me to host him in my city! He had made no stay reservations anywhere and had just made the flight and train tickets. I called my parents and they advised me to "adjust" - they have never traveled outside our native state and it would be impossible for them to find a place to stay. Thankfully, I stay in a 2 BHK and got my maid to set up their room and get their food etc. ready. I picked them up from airport at 11 in the night and got them home. Now, I realized the following things after meeting them: \- My cousin had not brought even a sweater for his trip to Delhi in December. \- They had made a random plan of visiting Rishikesh, Amritsar, Jaipur, Agra/Mathura/Vrindavan in a one week trip to Delhi and had made no hotel/bus/train bookings at all - this plan was made by someone else in the village who expected them to touch the soil in each of these states and come back \- They expected me to help them out with all of their travels So, I gave them both my blankets (thankfully, I have a heater in my room and don't need it), booked a cab for their day travel in Delhi yesterday, gave a jacket to my cousin so he doesn't die of cold. I told them to visit only two of the four places they wanted to visit and his wife and kids were very disappointed. I finally managed to book bus tickets to two places for all four of them and told them I'll figure out about Agra when they are back on Saturday. My cousin didn't even offer to pay for the bus tickets I booked. Now, their bus was at 6 AM from a place 10 mins from my house. I woke up at 5:30 today (just to wear a jacket and go drop them) only to discover that they were all still sleeping. I hurriedly woke them up and helped them pack and then rash-drove to ensure they got their bus right on time. Also, my cousin forgot to buy a sweater in one day of Delhi travel and borrowed my jacket for this trip as well. Also, there was an issue with my building wherein a guard asked them to take the service lift. Thankfully, they did not understand what this meant. I am exasperated by their behavior. I will help them out in their trip (thankfully, they have a return ticket) but am thinking of having a firm word with my cousin at end of their trip telling him what all he needs to do differently, next time. Any advice on how to breach this subject? I don't want to make it about money, but, also, don't want a situation when this happens again.1
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