Constantly hated for being a girl

TLDR at the end is given. Ever since I was a kid, I was constantly scolded by both of my parents. I remember running away from my home with a kitty suitcase of mine filled with my dolls when I was 5 because I couldn't able to put with constant harrassment from them. You might probably think that's because I am a troubled child but I swear it's the opposite. Everyone out there likes me except for my parents. As I grew up, I realised that my parents tried for a boy and ended up having me. Although I have a brother now, It's just they didn't want me in the first place. My dad straight up told me this. I remember praying to God to turn me into a boy when I was a kid back then thinking its possible and I would also be loved more if that happens. When I think about that, I not only find cringe but also furious for making me have such thoughts at the age where I should be playing with the neighborhood kids. Trust me, almost 99% of my problems would be solved if I was born as a biological male. I am not even kidding. My family is my problem. Like 10 mins ago, I got a big lecture from my mom about how useless I am because everyone kept their drank coffee cups at different parts of the house and apparently I didn't bring it to the kitchen. My brother doesn't even lift his finger and he is just a couple of years younger than me while I will be scolded out of blue for anything and everything. Lately, I am literally living in this constant fear wondering when and what reason they gonna use to scold me everyday. It gets worse. My mental health is down in he drain. Whenever they call my name, my heart pounds as if I am in a exam hall. I legit wish I was aborted since my dad told me outright he wanted that too and apparently I am a liability to them. It hurted at that time but now I feel perhaps, they are right. I would have been better off dying in the womb than dying everyday mentally. No one around me has any idea about this since they put out this drama of how beautiful of a family we are. We are better than bollywood serial dramas. I can bet on that. So, yeah, just a rant to get it off my chest. TLDR : My parents hates me because I am a girl and they wanted a boy. I have a brother, though but they still wanted to get rid of me and treats me like a slave and a vent bag to show all their frustrations.