I think I need to give up my dreams. I have failed YouTube every time I’ve tried and I am so crushed. Zero views across multiple channels. Should I just stop?

Hi everyone. I want to start off by saying that I know this is long, but if you stick around it would mean the world to me. I’m dealing with some depressive thoughts at the moment. I first started trying to become a YouTuber in 2017. I was inspired by a lot of the big channels posting well made documentaries. Lemmino being the main inspiration. In the last 7 years I’ve had 4 different stints of trying to make my own channel. I wrote the scripts myself which took several days of research and dedication. I hired voiceover professionals, I hired video editors. I did everything in my power to make unique and well made mini documentaries. I have lost thousands doing this. In 2017 I invested $2,800 to come up with everything for 4 well made videos. In two months I uploaded all 4 videos. Zero views. Like literally, zero. I gave up. It was too much money to keep trying. Three years later I tried again. I got a high quality microphone to do my own professional voiceovers, and worked on scripting again. The only thing I needed to hire out was a video editor. That brought the cost per video way lower. I did a ton of research on trends, how to upload properly, tags, thumbnails, what people are searching, etc. You name it. 10 videos made, $2,000 spent. 3 views. Which I’m pretty sure were all my own views I even managed to get into contact with some big creators by just emailing them and asking for advice. I emailed like 10 of my favorites creators with over 1,000,000 subscribers similar to Lemmino, and two responded saying they loved the video I did and they don’t understand why they are not getting views. One of those creators told me to just keep grinding and uploading, but I lost all my money. Keep in mind, I’m a high school dropout who worked retail jobs. I didn’t come from money. The money I spent was all earned from working overtime in retail jobs. I gave up again. Last year I decided to approach it from a passion perspective and not money. I saw how that would have been my main issue. So I did it all over but I learned how to video edit on my own. My cost per video was exactly $0, minus subscription costs. The only thing it cost me was my time, and a lot of it. Hours and hours. Late nights, skipping family things. I was unbelievably passionate about this. Upload after upload, 3 views in 7 months. 2 Subscribers. 16 high quality uploads. I gave up again. So my dream was officially crushed last year, yet again. I have to admit, I’m jealous of people making a living on YouTube. Money is so hard to come by. I’ve worked my ass off. I have failed over and over. I don’t know how people do it, how people can upload silly reused terrible AI content and make a living. I have dreams at night that I figured it out and I can officially make money from YouTube and help my family. I’m getting that itch to try it again, but I’ve wasted thousands and a ton of time. I need to ask myself when enough is enough and move on. If you’ve read this far, I really appreciate you. I have realized, not all dreams work out. The idea that if you want something bad enough, you will get it. It doesn’t feel real to me. It seems, it was just not meant to be.