Rent a boyfriend This Valentine's(free)💕

(Mods don't remove this post it's just charity work and sarcasm catagory, have mercy🙏🥺) Tired of watching couples hold hands while you hold your own tears? Sick of your mom reminding you that even your neighbor’s cat found a mate before you? Worry no more! This Valentine’s, I am offering my world-class, emotionally unavailable boyfriend services—100% FREE! Why free, you ask? Because, let's be honest, if I were even remotely good-looking, I’d be charging. What’s Included: ✔ Real Laughs at Your Jokes (Even tho I am at ace level when it comes to humor) ✔ Aggressive Hand-Holding (To showoff to your ex or friends on Instagram stories) ✔ Bollywood-Level Eye Contact (Not like SRK, but irfan khan) ✔ Lifetime access over Texts (Agar vibe na aayi toh blue tick ka dukh milega) ✔ Dinner Date (Except Mahesh pav bhaji😭) What’s NOT Included: ❌ Emotional availability (I ghost myself sometimes) ❌ A six-pack (unless we’re talking about instant noodles) ❌ Photogenic Looks (I act weird while taking couple photos) (Limited stock, tenant can own property for lifetime aswell if they spent 11 months there according to Indian law)