i will not promote - how do you network for your startup effectively by looking like you're not networking?

Long story short, I have a startup focused on creating custom solutions for clients in our market. It is finally moving past its early gestational/developmental phase where we have been focused largely on laying down some basic building blocks–built and tested a demo to show off what we can do, created a website, created ad materials, fine-tuned the business plan, etc.–and we’ve decided we’re ready to stage a more concerted marketing/networking and client acquisition campaign. Now, I get that interpersonal networking is a big part of this, and one of the most effective ways to acquire clients, especially for companies focused on providing custom solutions.  But when I look for information on how to network effectively–which I’ve tried to do along the way, of course, but never with any methodology behind it–I see a lot of advice from commentators and successful people that more or less says “the trick is, when networking, don’t approach potential contacts like a salesman trying to sell a product—that might be a turn off.  Just try to have authentic conversations and form mutually beneficial relationships.  Then some of the people you form relationships with might develop into a client, introduce you to people who will become clients, or help you in some other way. Doing this consistently is how you build a network.” I see the logic, but I also have trouble envisioning an effective way to consistently do this.  More specifically, I have trouble envisioning how to tell a contact about what I do and/or ask them questions or discuss subjects that are relevant or beneficial to my business without looking salesman-ish. So I’m chatting with a new contact, and they mention what they do.  I realize asking certain questions about what they do could lead to useful information.  What is the best way to ask these questions or acquire this information? Will things like “hey do you know anything about x?  I’m currently running startup that does y, and we’re interested in x/would like to know more about x” set off alarm bells?  If so what is a better tack to take? Should I avoid mentioning the startup at all? Or should I mention it as early as possible? To those of you who have consistent success in interpersonal networking both for acquiring market information and for acquiring clients, what approaches do you take in the way you introduce yourself to contacts, and perhaps in the way you follow up with them?