Pune metro

So there I was, just trying to survive another soul-sucking metro ride. Got a seat after wrestling half the city for it, and thought I’d scroll my phone in peace. But no. Peace is a myth when you're surrounded by “Main Character Syndrome” auditions. First, this girl plops down sideways on her chair like she’s in a moody perfume ad. And then, in comes this guy, looking like he’s been rehearsing his lines in front of a mirror for days. Now, I’m stuck listening to this cringe conversation. The girl looks like she’d rather die than engage, but she’s trapped—seat over freedom, classic dilemma. Meanwhile, the guy thinks he’s the hero of a rom-com, dropping lines like, "You give off boring vibes, don’t take it personally." Bro, that’s like saying, "You’re ugly, but it’s fine." Who taught him to talk to people? Reddit motivational posts? Then he asks her to rate his outfit. Are you serious? I almost snorted my coffee. The girl gives him an 8/10, which is way too generous for someone wearing a shirt that screams "80% off Sale." And then, as his stop comes, he has the audacity to say, "Hope I uplifted your mood." Dude, the only mood you uplifted was mine—laughing at this disaster. I thought that was the end of it, but no. He asks for her Insta ID like this train ride was Tinder. She’s 19, he’s 28—Sir, no! As he got off the metro, I prayed silently for the girl’s sanity and hoped this conversation is over.. And now, I come to Reddit for solace, only to find both of their posts here. She’s like, “Hope he’s not on Reddit,” and he’s like, “Hope she’s not on Reddit.” Meanwhile, I’m just here thinking, “Why are you two trauma-dumping your awkwardness on the internet instead of the metro like normal people?” Dear universe, next time, please seat me next to someone who eats snacks in peace.